Jamie Lynn Spears Has Cat Issues

On Instagram Jamie Lynn Spears had a few choice words for Tesla over this past weekend when she blamed the auto maker’s car for killing her cat. Actually, I want to clarify… CATS. Plural, not just one, but multiple cats.

At one point Spears even told Elon Musk that he owed her a couple cats. So that confirms, yes it was several cats that she blames Tesla for killing. In her defense, I feel she is right, but she still has an issue we need to address.

First off, let’s discuss why she is blaming Tesla for this. If you’ve had the opportunity to be close to an electric or hybrid car then you may have noticed how quiet the cars are. So Spears alleges that animals can’t hear the car as they approach. Now, legally these new electric and hybrid vehicles just were recently forced by law to start emitting sounds depending on the speed the vehicle is traveling. This way people and animals can hear them coming. According to CNN this law was passed last year and if it’s true I have yet to hear a thing. So I can see how animals may also be in the same boat as me despite their better hearing.

This noise should also assist blind people who also have a hard time hearing the car coming. Which is honestly something I didn’t even think of. How shitty would it be for a poor blind person to suddenly get plowed by a Tesla. I doubt the conversation would go “Holy shit I just got ran over, you assho… Wait… Is this a Tesla?”

So congrats to you Mrs. Jamie Lynn for educating me a little so I may think of others. Now, there is still a problem, how the fuck you lose multiple cats on what seems to be multiple occasions? In my 36 years of LIFE I’ve never seen a cat on a leash, so you clearly weren’t walking it, but if you were then that’s literally more impressive to me. 

So this means either you let your cat roam around outside like it owns the town, or you ran over your cats who for some reason were sleeping under the tire, or both!

This seems less like a car problem and more like a fool me once shame on you, fool me twice… fool me can’t get fooled again… situation. I really am curious about the number though. I can almost forgive twice, but I can’t forgive three plus times of that. That’s like Free Willy 3, at that point the fucking whale is just being dumb.

Basically, if this is an issue for you, keep your pets indoors.